Introduction
Thanks and praise be to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I have been following Jesus for more than 60 years. I have experienced many ups and downs in my faith journey and sometimes drifted away from God, and sometimes it seemed that He had abandoned me (Isaiah 54:7). Nevertheless, the Lord has been with me always and by his grace, I have been richly blessed (Isaiah 41:10). I have a happy and loving family. My wife and I have been married for 52 years and blessed with a son and a daughter, both married and three grandchildren. The children and their families all live within a short distance from us, and my wife and I are certainly blessed with them near us. I came to Lake two years ago after zooming for two years during the COVID pandemic and became a member in April 2022. I am involved with the Men’s group and the Galileans.
How did I come to know Jesus? Well, let me share my story of how I transformed from living in darkness to living in the light in Christ, and continuing my faith journey by pressing toward the mark of the high calling in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14-15).
Living in Darkness
The sun had set, and it was getting dark. The family was gathered and wailing by a riverbank on the outskirt of Kuala Lumpur. As incense and joss sticks burned, they put a tiny flotilla like a paper boat with an oil lamp tied to a fish into the river. It moved aimlessly about on the water. The oil lamp was flickering, and the light became dimmer and dimmer and disappeared as it drifted downriver. Vaguely, I remembered crying very loud and sad as my mother had passed away and the scene was a religious ritual of a Chinese family sending the spirit of the dead away to the other world. That was my only recollection of my mother who died when I was five.
I grew up in a traditional Chinese family who believed in ancestor worship with deep influence from Buddhism, Taoism, and Confucianism. Like many migrant Chinese families in Singapore, we believed that worshiping the spirits of the dead could influence the fortune of the living relatives. We also worshiped many gods, such as the goddess of mercy, god of war, monkey god, etc.—all represented on the family altar by man-made pictures, tablets, or figurines to ward off evil spirits and bring good fortunes.
If those beliefs were not diversified enough, in Singapore, we lived among people of other races, origins and faiths—there were Malays who were Muslim, Asian Indians who were Hindus, Sheiks, or Christians, European, and some Singaporeans who were Christians, and then Chinese from all over China with their belief in many gods, and superstitions. As kids, we grew up with stories of all kinds of evil spirits that haunted us, and we were frightened and afraid of walking in the dark.
After my mother’s death, my aunt stepped up to help my father raised a family of 5 kids and I was the second youngest. My aunt was a very staunch Buddhist who could recite a prayer book although she could not read. She believed in and worshiped Kuan-Yin and all the other gods. She was also very superstitious. I frequently accompanied her to the temples to worship the gods during the religious festivals. I was told to kneel and pray to the idols and statues, and obediently I did, but not sure if it was because I believed the gods or just was afraid of them. At home, as a daily chore, I was asked to light up the incense sticks and placed them before the many gods and our ancestors at the family alters. During religious festivals, we would also offer food sacrifice to our ancestors and the gods praying for good health and fortune. I was also influenced by the Muslim and Hindu beliefs, especially in the evil spirits.
Like my family, I believed in many gods and reincarnation, a heaven for the good, and 18 levels of hell for the wicked and evil to be punished and tortured in boiling oil and lake of fire. I had no idea of the truth except what was passed down through the family. I believed and worshiped many false gods and idols and prayed that I would not encounter any evil spirit. Nobody had yet shared the truth with me. In retrospect, I was living in darkness.
First Glimpse of Light
My first exposure to Christianity was when I was transferred to a Catholic high school within the Singapore education system, and there in addition to the regular curriculum I was taught Bible history, the catechism, and Jesus the savior. I was taught to recite the Lord’s Prayer and the Hail Mary. In a nutshell, it was just part of the school program and discipline, and I took it all as history lessons.
A glimpse of light flashed before me when I was 16; a classmate and believer in Jesus invited me to Sunday School at a Brethren Church where I first heard the gospel of Jesus Christ and salvation from the condemnation of sin. There, I learned about a new God through the songs and scripture, prayers, and fellowship with Christ followers. Overtime by the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I was led to a deeper understanding about God the Father and Jesus, the Son of God who came down from heaven to die on the cross for the redemption of sins, and my sins, to give me eternal life. After a year, faith came by hearing, that is hearing the Word of God (Romans 10:17), and I was filled with the Word of God (Colossians 3:16-18). Then, I began to see the light.
One evening, after a church service, I was asked if I was saved or wanted to be saved. Of course, I wanted to be saved from sin. I was led to meet Christ and realized that although I was not a bad person, I was nevertheless a sinner deeply entrenched in worshiping many false gods and idols, and like all men have sinned and come short of the glory of God (Romans 3:16). In repentance, I acknowledged my sins and hopelessness and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Although the experience was not a blinding encounter like the apostle Paul’s on the road to Emmaus, my conversion was a slow and gradual process like the osmosis of life of a seed. For me faith came from hearing the message, and the message was heard through the word about Christ, (Romans 10:17). Since then, the indwelling Holy Spirit constantly prompted me thinking toward God and I transformed to living in the light of Christ.
Why did I believe in Jesus? None of the gods and deities that I had worshiped did anything to give me life, joy, and peace, let alone died to redeem me from the condemnation of sin and promised me eternal life in heaven. In Christ, I’m certain I’m going to heaven.
Living in the Light of Christ
So, I had a new faith, hope, and eternal life and quietly became a Jesus follower. The most significant change that occurred subsequent to my accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior was not that I became a better person but that my sins were forgiven, and I became a new person. I immediately stopped worshiping my ancestors, and the gods and idols of the family. I began a new a relationship with God through Jesus not for out of fear but the love of God as his redeemed child. I continued to read the Bible—the word of God, get to know him, become more involved in church, and worshiping the living God.
Two years later, I took the step of baptism by immersion in water to openly profess my faith in Jesus and told my aunt of my decision.
“So, you are not going to pray and worship me and burn incense to me after I die,” she retorted sternly. Boldly, I told her that since I had decided to believe in and follow Jesus and be baptized, I would not pray to nor worship her but nevertheless I loved her just the same. That was the first significant test to affirm my faith in Jesus and denounce the worship of my ancestors and all the Chinese gods and deities.
Continuing My Faith Journey and Discarding the Sinful Baggage
Another pivotal test of my call to faithful living and abandoning sinful ways came when I first entered the work force. I was recruited to be an insurance agent and sent to the corporate office in another city for training and orientation. The recruits were booked in a business hotel for a week. After a training session and dinner, the other recruits invited me to join them for drinks at a local bar and then to party with women. I was away from home and free from parental control to party and have fun. I was tempted, but absolutely not! Jesus would not approve of it. Prompted by the Holy Spirit, I declined and returned to my room, took out my pocket bible and read the scriptures and prayed for the Lord to strengthen my faith and not to yield to temptation.
Over time, the Holy Spirit brought my other sins to mind, deeds that were once thought acceptable in my life, and I asked God’s forgiveness and help to discard them. But as a Chinese entrenched in traditional family beliefs and superstitions, it was a long and personal struggle for me to be quickly and totally released from the clutches of the Chinese cultural beliefs and superstitions, such as fortune telling, prediction of the fate of life, palm reading, “fengshui” (the mystical harmonizing of man with environment for better fortune), etc. Upon prompting of the indwelling Holy Spirit, little by little, I began to learn and yield that there was no other power or source that I or man could use to change any bit of my life other than what God had planned for me. Over the years, my faith grew stronger each day in following the Lord and I continued to discard the sinful cultural beliefs and superstitions as and when they were brought to mind.
In the years that followed, the temptation and tests early in my Christian life set the plum line I held on to as I continued growing in faith in Jesus and fellowship with other Jesus followers. I grew in spirituality spending time with friends in small group Bible study, attended Bible camps, became active in church teaching a Sunday School class for elementary kids, led a youth group, and conducted the evening gospel service to bring the good news to others. Sunday was the Lord’s Day. I worshiped and praised God and meditated on his words in the morning, taught Sunday School in the afternoon, and completed the Lord’s Day by attending or conducting the evening gospel service. Also, giving, and honoring God with my offering was a part of faith. But in the beginning, I only gave from what was left after expenses. God doesn’t need my money, but by the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I learned to tithe as an act of worship, and for the past 18 years, I have been blessed more I than I could imagine.
In the mid-70s, I had a job transfer that took me to Hong Kong to be Operations Manager of a wholesale branch of an American bank. Shortly after I got settled into my new job at the bank, I was again put to the test of my faith and my adherence to the Word of God. At the time of renewing a janitorial service contract for the office, the vendor asked how much I would like to add to the contract amount in order to receive a kick back. Here was an opportunity to make extra easy money. The Holy Spirit was prompting, “Don’t be greedy and pursue dishonest gain" (1 Peter 5:2). “Thou shall not covet” rang out loud in my heart. Covetousness is a lustful desire for something that doesn’t belong to us. Of course, I would have nothing of it and told the vendor not to make such offer again to me or anyone in the office or I would cancel the contract. Had I taken the small bribe, it would lead me down the pathway of sin and become a habitual greed. God forbids!
I came to America in 1981 on a job transfer with The First National Bank of Chicago and landed in Los Angeles, California where I took up a permanent assignment in marketing. We settled in Glendale and were associated with the First United Methodist Church, Glendale. Five years later, we moved to Ventura following a new job appointment with another bank. It was while living in Ventura since 1986 and associated with the First United Methodist Church there that I grew deeper and more matured in my Christian life. I became very active in church and was involved in the finance and staff-parish committees. I chaired the men’s group and led a Sunday school class as president. Life was good in Ventura and ideal for bringing up the family, being away from all the Hollywood influences of Los Angeles.
In Ventura, I was financially comfortable and was grateful for the Lord’s provision. However, when God’s blessing was not taken in the right context and gratitude, that led to my downfall. I became arrogant and boasted that I had sufficiency and never hunger (Paul boasted only in Christ and nothing else). Pride came before a fall. Thereafter, I made some bad business investment choices. As a plan for “MY” retirement without consulting if it was God’s plan, I moonlighted and started an import & wholesale merchandising business for my wife who had no business experience at all. I took out a large second loan on my house to start the business and in planning to downsize, bought another house before first selling the existing house. Then, the aerospace industry collapsed when President Reagan ended the cold war with Gorbachev, and it brought the housing market down with it. I was then saddled with the burden of a fulltime job, two mortgages and a marginal business. During this bad and stressful period, I also borrowed more money from a friend to sustain the business. I became desperate and senseless and sinned by turning to Chinese superstition instead of God for help to get out of the rut. I had to sell both houses at a loss when I decided to move back to Glendale with a new job at another bank in Los Angeles. At that time, I was technically bankrupt but painfully decided to maintain my credit status, and it took me 10 years to repay my debt and rebuild my finances. During this time of failure and desperation, the Holy Spirit reminded me time and time again of God’s word— “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be provided for you” (Matthew 6:33). I realized and repented of my sins of pride and turning to idolatry and learned to trust God wholeheartedly. The experience brought me closer to God and I regained my faith and henceforth remember to always walk with the Lord.
Back in Glendale, I became associated with the First Evangelical Church, an Asian community church and later got involved in the ministry to the nursing home residents where I led Sunday worship services. For about eight years, I worked with two churches in Glendale in the nursing home ministry. The nursing home ministry was a blessing to me, and I was able to bless others too by sharing the love and care of God and singing hymns to help bring them closer to God. During the service, I also shared the gospel or a devotion with them. I have seen and experienced joy in the residents and at the end of the service, some would smile and even kiss my hand. I had seen some residents who were hardened with loneliness began to smile and hum along with the hymns as we sang praises to God.
Recently, in response to Pastor Mathew’s messages on radical generosity to reach out to serve those in need in our neighboring communities, I got together with a team of volunteers from the Men’s ministry to start a weekly Sunday worship service for nursing home residents at the Jasmin Terrance at El Molino, Pasadena. It was a humbling experience to find how God in His time wonderfully answered our prayers and provided the resources as we planned to launch the worship service two months ago.
As I continue to walk with Jesus, I constantly remind myself that— “I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." (Galatians 2:20). Additionally, as an encouragement to faithfully continue the walk through the worldly and corruptible path of life, where Satan and his troops are always lurking to tempt and distract me, I love to sing or hum two hymns of assurance and faith to remind me of the faithfulness of God— (1) I don’t know about tomorrow, and (2) I have found a friend in Jesus.
Thank you for allowing me to share my story of faith. May God bless you.